“Be kind to yourself. It’s the first day of a new chapter. It’s going to feel strange and different because it IS. You’ll find your new normal. Let it be messy.”

– Anne on Day One

“Let it be messy” a phrase borrowed from Eleanor Tweddell’s book, “Another Door Opens”

This is what I wrote to myself on the first day of full-time self-employed life after redundancy from full time corporate work.

It became a really useful anchoring statement in an unsettling time. I needed to tell myself this. I was stepping into something unfamiliar and I wanted to choose how I met it.

Looking back now, I can unpick why it was so helpful. It gave me three things:

Intent: “Be kind to yourself.” This was about talking to myself like I would a friend. Being gentle with myself. Lowering my expectations. Because when something changes unexpectedly, there’s often this pressure to respond well — to be productive, to prove you’re coping, to get straight back to the grindstone. But on that first day, I didn’t need pressure. I didn’t need to rush back to anything. I needed permission to meet myself with compassion and care. 

Reality: “It’s the first day of a new chapter. It’s going to feel strange and different because it IS.” It really was day one of a whole new chapter. And there’s something oddly comforting about naming reality instead of trying to argue with it. Of course it was going to feel strange. One day I had routine, structure, work, people. The next day… oh shit, this is different, this is new, this is huge. And actually, it would have been strange if it didn’t feel strange.

Permission: “You’ll find your new normal. Let it be messy.” This was my reminder not to rush it, not to panic, and not to expect certainty immediately. To let a new routine emerge in its own time. To trust that I didn’t need to know exactly what came next in order to move forwards. I AM in transition… and I would find different solid ground again.

And the truth is… I’m not writing this from the other side.

I wrote this a month and a half ago, and some days (particularly this week if I’m honest), I still need it. I’m still finding my new normal. I still have moments where I expect myself to have adapted faster, to know more, to feel more settled than I do.

So this isn’t advice from someone who’s figured it out. It’s me sharing something that helped me — and still helps me — while I’m right in the middle of it.

Maybe that’s the point. Sometimes the things we write to ourselves aren’t for one difficult day. Sometimes they become words we return to for a while.

I’m curious, if you’re in the middle of change what do you want to say to yourself? (Or wish you had…)

• What intent do you want to set for this chapter?
• What reality do you need to acknowledge?
• What permission do you need to give yourself?